Greetings, employee.

It has been a while, but the VERTIGROWL company has finally completed the process of being born. 

You are welcome to apply to the position of General Window Gravitational Management.

No previous experience required.

This is a binding contract, so leaving the company before the 1-year mark will result in the subtraction of a yet-to-be-determined amount of money or emotional wellbeing.

For crying and general despair, please use the break room.

Welcome aboard.